I have had both luck & misfortune in my time…
My take on the ‘Me to’ Debate… Yes, me too.
On Sexism ©
The Luck to have had two wonderful children a Girl and a Boy, the luck to have found a means of self-expression, I could sing, I could put words together and make songs, and it fed me & my Kids…. me and my heart, singing for a roof over our heads and our suppers. The luck to have worked with both many great male Musicians, and, as the late 1970s arrived, there were more women appearing on the scene…Loverly. No longer the lone woman in the Pack. The men, for the most part, did not took advantage of me..on the road, far from my Home…long hours in studios. I met many men who were pretty free with their mouth, often in a highly sexist manner, but they never physically harmed me…or took liberties. You could say it was the laddish mindset of the times…no excuse, it was the 50s & the 60s, not a very enlightened time. Particularly for the the incoming communities, from the Africas the Caribbean, the Asian countries, the Gay community and vulnerable young people, new to City ways, from small towns and villages.
I was on the music scene as an inexperienced fledgling from1964/5 and that speaks for its self, I was out in the world alone from the age of 15.. It could be a cruel corrupt business, however, whenever a promoter or agent cornered me in a dressing room or backstage, it wasn’t very long before one or more of the lovely musicians I worked with would wade in and do the decent thing, making it very clear that it wasn’t appropriate behaviour. Recently, we have been finding out about the rampant abuse, like no one knew? DJs, of the old Radio kind, BBC!
The record company chiefs & managers, the A & R Guys, the agents, the producers and the man on the street…We must not vilify every man for the appalling behaviour of some. Similarly, I was vilified by other feminists during the 70’s when I was working hard, singing at benefits and raising awareness about female and racial inequality, let alone homophobia.. young men and boys in those days were at the same risk of abuse from predatory men.
The vilification came because at the time I was in my 20’s, a single mother with a boy child. I was told on a few occasions when asked to sing at women-only festivals and benefit gigs, that I could not bring my son, aged 5/6/7/8, which is an attitude that will only extend the lack of male respect towards women. I wanted to raise a very different sort of young man, and I was successful.
I weep for all those women and we must not forget. Men, who have been abused both, on the so-called casting couch, ‘suck on this and you will have fame…. ‘ defenceless and vulnerable young people often afraid of being pushed out in into wilderness if they didn’t comply, failure. This furore over the Hollywood practice of powerful and rich film moguls is not new.
The scandal of the BBC personalities was covered up for many years despite being reported often. As human beings, both men and women must learn to speak up. Tough, as I well know, nobody listened or believed me as a child, and then later, as a young woman. The Men who abused me in my adult life, were the Deal makers and breakers, the men with power and the cheques, the power to lift you into the world of fame and fortune, or not!
The luck I spoke of, lay in the ability and the privilege I have been given, singing, music and writing about my own experiences whilst the horrendous and cruel mistreatment of people in our world, the darkest side of Human Nature, continues.
Yours in love and respect Carol Grimes
Below is the inner label of an album released on the Virgin label Caroline….1972
And then again, a track of mine released on a Cd without my knowledge, a naked woman with a Guitar! in the late1990s What!!! yes indeed, said it all, no changes…